Defy Your Own Limitations

I had the idea for this blog a few days ago when I had got home from a run....a 50 minute run. It took me almost 90 minutes(!) to actually get round to going for that run. Not because I wasn't ever not going to do the run, but because I was procrastinating, putting it off, finding other "important" things to do first. It was my morning off, and I didn't have anywhere to be until lunchtime. I had a lie in until 7am and woken up naturally and knew that I had planned to run. The first hour was spent relaxing, catching up on news and doing a few bits for social media, then I thought that I would head out to run at 8am. 

8am turned into a few emails, a phone call, some more social media. I thought about having breakfast, then I realised I wanted to run first. So I decided to go out and run. Then I tried on a dress that I love and have never worn, I thought about wearing it to a party that I have been invited to. I thought about breakfast again, and then finally decided to get my running gear on and head out. I stopped and sat on a chair first. It was 9:30am. I grabbed my headphones. Found a podcast lecture that I wanted to listen to. Hair up, gloves on. Fiiiiiiiinally out the door. Why had it taken me so long to get out and run? I LOVE running! It chills me out. It's my thing, and I've worked as a personal trainer for almost ten years. I am a master of motivation! It wasn't necessarily the motivation to do the run that i was lacking (because I knew that I was always going to do it at some point that morning), but rather the motivation to do the run right then. Hmmmm.

It got me thinking. What was so bad about taking the first few steps out of the door? It's something that we all deal with.The umming and ah'ing about whether to take action, or to put something off. It can be likened to getting out of bed in the morning - do you jump up at the first sound of your alarm, or do you hit snooze again and again?! Do you make it to your workout raring to go, or do you put it off or start late and miss part of your session? I guess in this situation I wanted to relax into my morning off without the usual military precision that my day demands. It certainly provided pause for thought though, and I realise nobody is exempt from the tendency to put off creating action in the moment. 

I'm glad I went out on that run - it brought with it so many ideas and positive vibes. I do some of my best thinking when I am running, almost like thinking but not thinking. It was raining, but just drizzle, which was really nice, and I had chosen to listen a podcast about mindset. I always try to remind myself to listen to something valuable when I run, whether it be music to make me feel good, or a lecture to make me think. Sometimes just running without anything is valuable too, and it's nice to be immersed in the sounds of what's around you.

I ran through the park that I usually run around, and into the next park across the road, which has just been refurbished. I thought that I would just keep on running through the park, further than I had ever been, to see what I would come across, and I ended up coming to a gate which led into a piece of track that I used to run through when I lived in my last home, around four years ago. I was really surprised that the two parks joined and I kind of got a rush of memories of the old route that I used to run - with lots of hills and muddy paths, and a big long flat along the bottom. I ran along the flat and remembered running through there years ago and how it felt, and what I was training for, and which bit of the run I found difficult, and remembered doing sprint sessions running out along the flat as fast as I could and then walking back. The whole thing brought back happy memories and positive emotions - I'm sure I must look so strange running along with a huge grin on my face sometimes! 

I felt so grateful for those memories, and also for the fact that I had chosen to keep on running and see what was at the end of the path. If I had just stuck to the usual route and turned around where I normally would, then I never would have realised that the two parks join, and would never had ran through the old park with a new perspective. It offers such a simple example of pushing past perceived boundaries to see what is on the other side. 

I had created a perception for myself, that the edge of the park was the edge of the park, and it was only until I kept running, that I realised there was another gate, and in fact another whole park behind it. What you think is your edge really isn't your edge, and you can go so much further and experience so much more than you think, just by pushing past what you think is there, and by breaking through the perceived boundaries that you set yourself. 

Where do you impose limitations on yourself? Are these limitations real or only perceived?

What can you do to break through your perceived boundaries?

What might be on the other side of that gate?

The biggest limitations are the ones that we make up in our minds. 

Choose to defy them today. 

With Gratitude, 

Niyc xx


PS. The optimallyou video blog will be released on YouTube tomorrow so keep an eye out for that - it is all about feeling grateful :) 

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Letting Go To Feel Good!

Letting go is often something that can be thought of as being painful to experience. It can be associated with loss, and with hurt and with anguish, and can be perceived as being negative, and of leaving a gap in your life. 

Letting go might resonate with you in many different ways - letting go of a loved one that you have lost, letting go of a relationship that is no longer healthy, letting go of a friendship that is past its best, or letting go of a pet that you can no longer give the best home to. It might be letting go of your favourite clothes or pair of shoes that you have been clinging on to but never wear, letting go of a business idea that just doesn't seem to work, or letting go of a home, or a job, that you have grown to love. 

What if we think of letting go from a different perspective? 

What if letting go is actually a good thing - something that allows us to let go, in fact, of the pain we feel, instead of leading us to feel pain as the end result. 

What if we look at letting go as a positive process that is releasing us from things that no longer serve our best path and highest self?

I like to think of letting go, as prone to sadness or resistance as it may sometimes be, as something that is making way for better things. 

In every life experience there is a lesson for us to learn, a lesson that can provide purpose, direction, and motivation, for us to continue on and do great things. 

What can you choose to let go of this week to allow more positive things to enter your life?

Are you holding on to any stresses or worries that you will do well to release yourself from?

"Worrying pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose."

You may be presented with situation where you decide to let go on a small scale, or on a larger scale, and your mindset and perspective when working through this can determine the impact and outcome of what you learn and feel. 

Letting go of things can actually be incredibly empowering, as we release our attachments to a particular outcome or object, and allow ourselves to become open to the possibilities and opportunities that surround us. 

By letting go - and sometimes by being forced to let go - I notice that I have experienced increased connection and development of new relationships and solidifying of existing ones, more freedom and a sense of inspiration and motivation for the future, and a sense of alignment with what is meant to be, and what is best for me. 

Think about the lesson in what you have experienced. Look for the positives that can come out of a negative situation. Notice the opportunities that lie ahead. 

Letting go might simply mean that you stop worrying about something and let go of the outcome, leaving you to feel light and free. 

Sometimes it is our negative mindset, thoughts, and perspective that we are in need of letting go of, and sometimes this key element can be the hardest to crack. 

Ill be talking more about negative thoughts and how to release yourself and let go, in my new video blog which will be coming up tomorrow. Keep an eye on the optimallyou YouTube channel where this vlog will be released, and subscribe to the channel to be the first to see :) 

In the meantime have a wonderful week!

With Gratitude, 

Niyc 

xx

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Remember Your Why

I went out to dinner with the girls this evening, for an early meal after everybody finished work, at 6:30pm. I figured I would be home by 8pm, so that I could write a blog post here, and then get an early night before my usual 5am start tomorrow. Our food took over an hour to arrive though, and one of the girls almost didn't get her meal at all, and so I arrived home at 9:15pm. I found myself moaning to the girls at the end of our evening, telling them that I have an hour of work to do when I get home, and that I have a 5am start tomorrow. The car journey home involved me weighing up the relative benefits of writing this blog post versus not writing it. Will I feel better if I just don't write, and I go to bed instead? Possibly. But what about my commitment to write something every day, and to blog every week?

This made me think. Who did I make that commitment to? Myself. Who am I letting down if I don't write? Myself. Who creates the pressure in the first place? Who makes the rules? Me. It made me think about why it matters if I do, or don't do something that I set out to do, if the only person that has created the standard and the pressure is myself. Then I realised that I needed to stop looking at WHAT I had to do, and instead think about the WHY. 

Why do I blog every week? Why is it important to show up and do what I say I am going to do? I guess that showing up and following through with my commitments are part of my values, something that is important to me. I also choose to remind myself that I love to write, and that writing is a creative expression of my ideas, thoughts, and feelings, even if it does end up as a late night post on a different topic to the one that I initially planned. 

I do what I do because I love it. Because it makes me happy, and hopefully somewhere along the line it makes some other people happy too. I'm going to wind up my night tonight thinking about some of the great things that I have done in the past week - things that I've done because I've wanted to do them. I've worked with fourteen personal training clients, and almost the same amount of coaching clients. I have delivered a corporate health and wellness talk, done a course walk around for the new Rising Sun parkrun event I am creating, and ran a successful Power Hour event, as well as leading two bootcamps, and recording the new optimallyou vlog. All of these things I have enjoyed so much, and have allowed me to make progress with my mission to serve others and spread happiness, by living my passion, and showing up for what I love. 

I always like to look for the lesson in a situation. Tonight I felt resistance, and that prompted me to explore and process what I was really feeling. Looking for the lesson made me remember my why. I mentioned the power of remembering your why in a previous blog post about exercise motivation, and I found myself shouting it at one of my bootcamps last week too - "remember why you're here, remember why you showed up, why you exercise, why it is important to you". Tonight it deserved an entire blog post. 

For the week ahead I intend to remember my why. I'll be looking forward to another Power Hour event this week, in Alnwick, and will be collaborating on our new Thrive Live event which is coming up in a few weeks time too. I'll be enjoying what I do, and resisting the urge to feel pressure attached to doing it. I will remember that in working for myself and pursuing my chosen path, that I always have a choice. I am choosing to do the work that I love and can be grateful to be afforded the opportunity to do so. 

Take the pressure off yourself this week, and choose to remember your why too. 

With Gratitude, 

Niyc xx

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What you do every day matters

It seems an appropriate time to revisit the commitments I made at the beginning of January. New Years Resolutions - who has forgotten about them already?

I seem to have done okay with fulfilling the intentions that I set at the start of the year - to incorporate more spinning, yoga, and boxing into my weekly routine, to cook more and eat out less, to practice forgiveness daily, take one day off each week, and to read something and write something every day. 

Firstly my MOVE related intentions, I have been to yoga twice this month - I would like to do more of this, and can plan to include yoga once weekly going forwards. I would also like to work out when I can fit spinning into my schedule as yet I haven't made it to a spin class! I think a little bit of organisation will go a long way here. Boxing is something that has really been working for me, and I have been loving having a personal training session each week to teach me how to box. I've even found some anger in there somewhere and I'm getting better! Even with my background in exercise and having been a personal trainer for almost ten years myself, boxing was something that was a little out of my comfort zone. I've really benefitted from having an appointment to show up to each week, where I'm pushed and my fitness and skill level tested in different ways than I am used to. I've learned to punch from my hips, and to keep my back foot planted instead of lifting it off the floor like a fairy! Thank you Dan! So grateful for your teaching! 

My NOURISH related intentions involved cooking more and eating out less, and this has been going well, although I have seemed to still manage to enjoy a few meals out each week. I realise that eating out is my social time, and I really love to enjoy that space with friends. I have made the effort to eat breakfast and lunch at home a lot more, and have been cooking up my favourite green veg stir fry on many mornings as the perfect start to my day. Stir fried kale, broccoli, and mangetout, with beansprouts and a green juice! Stir fried with coconut oil, and also sometimes some chilli. It seems like a strange breakfast to have, but when your day starts at 5am and breakfast is at 10am, it's kind of like lunch time already anyway!

The final intentions that I set for myself for January and 2015 were FLOURISH related, and involved practising forgiveness daily, taking one day off each week, and reading and writing something every day. This has actually been one of the most impactful areas of my intentions, and I have really noticed new habits forming as a result. I have practised forgiveness every single day in January, and have made the effort to take notice of how this process has made me feel. The effects have been so overwhelmingly positive, that I am going to keep using this daily practice for February too. I figured that if I set an alarm to remind me to practice forgiveness, that I would make the effort each day to do so, and this has really worked. 

I have had one day off each week, and I am really looking forward to a day off again this weekend. Sometimes my working days have extended from 6am to 9pm, and so a day off each week to look forward to having no plans has been a really valuable thing. I love to cram as much as possible into my days and my life, but I also realise the importance of time to just be. To relax and be still, and be present and unwind. 

I would like to have written more this month, and whilst I have kept up to date with my blog each Tuesday, outside of that I have written little, other than notes and ideas, and to do lists. My February intentions include writing every day - and using a method that I found to be effective for my reading, which is to do just a little every day, even if it is 15 minutes, just to make sure that every day I am making progress. I will be discussing this in more detail in tomorrow's optimallyou vlog. I have noticed that just doing a little of something every single day means that so much more progress is made. 

For now I am going to continue with the commitments I have made, and build upon the habits I have begun to form. I will be focusing more on fulfilling my intention to spin more and write daily, and will see what February has in store! January has been an amazing month and I have so loved everything that has been brought into my life. I have worked with some amazing people already this year and am open and allowing everything else that is on its way. I will love to hear how your positive intentions are coming along for 2015 and so please get in touch by leaving a comment below, or reaching out on social media. 

With Gratitude, 

Niyc xx

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Just Show Up

For some reason I have never liked having my photo taken. I feel completely uncomfortable in front of a camera, and have the most awkward smile and stance of anyone I have seen......

Or so I thought until I changed my own mind last week. 

I have needed to get some new photographs for a while, to represent myself and optimallyou as we have evolved over the last few years. I never seemed to have quite the right photo to use within my bio's or within my blog, and I needed some new shots for the new optimallyou website. I knew that I needed to arrange a photoshoot in a studio to get the professional shots, and I think I was putting it off because I was nervous about doing something that I hadn't done before, and because I thought I would feel awkward, and the photos would turn out badly. 

How's that for a positive mental attitude! 

I chatted with a few people and mentioned that I was nervous to do the shoot, and people didn't really understand why. I am so happy standing up and speaking at an event in front of hundreds of people, so what is it about being in front of a camera that brings up this fear? I guess it was potentially the chance of the photographs turning out badly, and the chance of me feeling stupid and uncomfortable, awkward in my own body. It was about how I felt, and what I thought, rather than what was actually happening. Before I had even reached the day of the photo shoot I was expecting for it to be a painful experience, and that just didn't make much sense. 

Why was I worrying about something that hadn't happened yet?

What could I possibly do other than do my best, and enjoy it? 

Thats exactly what I decided to do. I decided to enjoy the process of the shoot, the choosing outfits with the girls the week before, getting my hair done as a tester to see how it would look, and on the day, showing up and having fun with four of my super talented best friends.

In Positive Psychology we talk about having one of two mindsets - fixed or growth. A fixed mindset is focused on the outcome, avoids challenges, and gives up easily, and this was the mindset that I had been stuck in! A growth mindset embraces challenge, and looks for the lessons within difficult situations, choosing to persevere, and focus on and enjoy the journey along the way. This was my new chosen mindset, and the one that meant that the shoot was a completely fab experience that we all really enjoyed. 

I had arranged the shoot to take place with my friends Hannah McGuire on styling, Charlotte Condliffe make up, Jade Watson for hair, and Charlotte Swann for the photographs, and had booked the studio for Saturday. I made sure that I fitted in my morning run so that I felt energised and alive, and then started to get everything sorted ready for the shoot - this meant driving to the gym first with wet hair in a towel turban, grabbing an exercise ball, and wedging it into the passenger seat of my car, and then heading to Jades house to get my hair set into rollers, followed by pick ups, packing, and a team Starbucks run - all with rollers in my hair and wearing prescription raybans because I had left my glasses at home! What a sight! 

We arrived at the studio and unpacked all of the clothes and Charlotte got to work on my make up - this being the first time I had had professional make up done before. Charlotte is fab and has worked for brands such as The Times newspaper, Fred Perry, and The Daily Mail, and being my friend I trusted her completely. The same goes for Jade and Hannah with my hair and styling - it was so good to be around friends and feel like a girl! 

I had decided to show up, work it, love it, and do my best. 

Sometimes showing up in life is the hardest part, and it isn't actually so bad when you get there.

Charlotte was amazing with the camera and has shot for huge sportswear brands in the past, as well as shooting over 50 weddings, as well as studio work - so she knows what she is doing. It really helped that she was bossing me about - though she swears that she wasn't half as bossy as normal on a shoot! 

We shot nine different looks, and had such a laugh doing it.  Imagine if I had have showed up nervous, with that fixed mindset, how different the process would have been. I grabbed the girls for a team photo at the end of the shoot, and then we headed out to lunch. 

We got the shots and the pictures are looking fab! I can't wait to see them up on the site when it goes live in a few weeks time. In the meantime, keep an eye on the optimallyou instagram, twitter, and Facebook pages, and look out for the new Flourish vlog out tomorrow on our youtube channel. 

Thank you to the girls for supporting my vision, and for showing up to make it happen. Love you all.


With Gratitude, 


Niyc xx



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Charlotte Swann Photography on Instagram @charlotteswannphotography
Hannah McGuire styling on Instagram @hmpersonalstyling
Charlotte Condliffe Make up on Facebook "CJC Make up Artist" and Instagram @charlottecond
Jade Watson Hair on Instagram @jadeywig