Things that make you feel good!

Saturday saw the launch of our brand new optimallyou Thrive Live series at Yogalilies studio in Newcastle. Thrive Live is a weekend wellness workshop that runs once each month and combines a positive psychology group coaching session led by myself, with an aroma yoga and meditation experience from Lissa of Yogalilies. This event was focused on “Show Yourself Some Love”, which aimed to help the group to work out where in their lives they felt stress, and how to combat it. 

Stress is the mental or emotional strain that results from demanding circumstances, and involves both the stressful situation, as well as how we respond to it. 39% of all work absences are attributed to stress, and it is something that is increasingly being noticed as being so detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Before Thrive Live I created for each member of the group their own Thrive Live Personal Growth Book, which included questions and exercises related to dealing with stressful situations, and how to develop a greater self awareness and self acceptance. 

I arrived at Yogalilies, and helped Lissa to set up the studio, then welcomed our fourteen guests to sit down at their yoga mats and get comfortable. We set the intention to clear away any feelings of stress, anxiety, and fear, and work on allowing ourselves to experience more self love. The first 90 minutes of the session were focused on creating a conversation around strategies for reframing stressful situations, and talking about the things that made us feel good. It was really interesting to see and feel the energy in the room shift as we moved away from talking about the things that stressed us, and began to share what makes us feel good.

It is so easy to get stuck in a negative dialogue with yourself and find yourself complaining all of the time, almost as a default setting – we all do it! I challenged the group to complete one whole day of no complaining in between this Thrive Live session and the next, and to see how it can help shift your mindset and wellbeing for the better. You should try this with us too! Just choose one day when you commit to no complaining from start to finish, and tweet us your views of your experience or share with us on facebook! One member of the group had actually given up complaining for the forty days of lent! I’m excited to hear the results of her challenge!

An interesting point was raised by a member of the group, about how to deal with other people that are negative and complaining all of the time, and I have actually commented on this in this week’s optimallyou vlog, so check it out for this cool piece of advice!

Everybody claimed one new healthy habit to install into their lives going forwards, and taking time to appreciate the beauty of nature and flowers in particular was one of the hot new habits from the day. Other ideas for creating more self love included taking more alone time as rest, listening to more music (positive playlist coming right up in this weeks optimallyou newsletter, just subscribe here), spending time with family, and for Lissa, enjoying time with Watson her dog. 

Our intentions for a new positive habit were carried through into the second half of the session where Lissa led the aroma yoga experience with essential oils to help imprint the positive emotions of the day into the brain. We practised some deep twist movements and core work to fire up our energy centres, and worked through a dynamic yoga session followed by a meditation which guided us to focus on our new habit, and the one action we could take today to bring our new positive habit into reality. 

Lissa is truly amazing and our aroma yoga experience was so incredibly powerful! There is such value in allowing yourself some time, whether it be half an hour, a day, or in this case, an afternoon, to dedicate to yourself and really give yourself something that nourishes you and makes you feel good. I loved it and can't wait for our next Thrive Live event on Saturday 21st March which is called "Dare To Be Creative". I will outline some keys steps to take towards creating the best version of you, and we will be creating our own manifestation vision boards to help identify what you want to bring in to your life and what the best version of you actually looks like. Lissa will then lead the aroma yoga experience, this time focusing on hip opening exercises, and a mandala colouring meditation.

Until then I will be practising my daily positive habits for more self love, and working on not complaining. Hopefully these things can be of use to you too. Have an amazing week!

With Gratitude, 

Niyc xx

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Letting Go To Feel Good!

Letting go is often something that can be thought of as being painful to experience. It can be associated with loss, and with hurt and with anguish, and can be perceived as being negative, and of leaving a gap in your life. 

Letting go might resonate with you in many different ways - letting go of a loved one that you have lost, letting go of a relationship that is no longer healthy, letting go of a friendship that is past its best, or letting go of a pet that you can no longer give the best home to. It might be letting go of your favourite clothes or pair of shoes that you have been clinging on to but never wear, letting go of a business idea that just doesn't seem to work, or letting go of a home, or a job, that you have grown to love. 

What if we think of letting go from a different perspective? 

What if letting go is actually a good thing - something that allows us to let go, in fact, of the pain we feel, instead of leading us to feel pain as the end result. 

What if we look at letting go as a positive process that is releasing us from things that no longer serve our best path and highest self?

I like to think of letting go, as prone to sadness or resistance as it may sometimes be, as something that is making way for better things. 

In every life experience there is a lesson for us to learn, a lesson that can provide purpose, direction, and motivation, for us to continue on and do great things. 

What can you choose to let go of this week to allow more positive things to enter your life?

Are you holding on to any stresses or worries that you will do well to release yourself from?

"Worrying pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose."

You may be presented with situation where you decide to let go on a small scale, or on a larger scale, and your mindset and perspective when working through this can determine the impact and outcome of what you learn and feel. 

Letting go of things can actually be incredibly empowering, as we release our attachments to a particular outcome or object, and allow ourselves to become open to the possibilities and opportunities that surround us. 

By letting go - and sometimes by being forced to let go - I notice that I have experienced increased connection and development of new relationships and solidifying of existing ones, more freedom and a sense of inspiration and motivation for the future, and a sense of alignment with what is meant to be, and what is best for me. 

Think about the lesson in what you have experienced. Look for the positives that can come out of a negative situation. Notice the opportunities that lie ahead. 

Letting go might simply mean that you stop worrying about something and let go of the outcome, leaving you to feel light and free. 

Sometimes it is our negative mindset, thoughts, and perspective that we are in need of letting go of, and sometimes this key element can be the hardest to crack. 

Ill be talking more about negative thoughts and how to release yourself and let go, in my new video blog which will be coming up tomorrow. Keep an eye on the optimallyou YouTube channel where this vlog will be released, and subscribe to the channel to be the first to see :) 

In the meantime have a wonderful week!

With Gratitude, 

Niyc 

xx

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Just Show Up

For some reason I have never liked having my photo taken. I feel completely uncomfortable in front of a camera, and have the most awkward smile and stance of anyone I have seen......

Or so I thought until I changed my own mind last week. 

I have needed to get some new photographs for a while, to represent myself and optimallyou as we have evolved over the last few years. I never seemed to have quite the right photo to use within my bio's or within my blog, and I needed some new shots for the new optimallyou website. I knew that I needed to arrange a photoshoot in a studio to get the professional shots, and I think I was putting it off because I was nervous about doing something that I hadn't done before, and because I thought I would feel awkward, and the photos would turn out badly. 

How's that for a positive mental attitude! 

I chatted with a few people and mentioned that I was nervous to do the shoot, and people didn't really understand why. I am so happy standing up and speaking at an event in front of hundreds of people, so what is it about being in front of a camera that brings up this fear? I guess it was potentially the chance of the photographs turning out badly, and the chance of me feeling stupid and uncomfortable, awkward in my own body. It was about how I felt, and what I thought, rather than what was actually happening. Before I had even reached the day of the photo shoot I was expecting for it to be a painful experience, and that just didn't make much sense. 

Why was I worrying about something that hadn't happened yet?

What could I possibly do other than do my best, and enjoy it? 

Thats exactly what I decided to do. I decided to enjoy the process of the shoot, the choosing outfits with the girls the week before, getting my hair done as a tester to see how it would look, and on the day, showing up and having fun with four of my super talented best friends.

In Positive Psychology we talk about having one of two mindsets - fixed or growth. A fixed mindset is focused on the outcome, avoids challenges, and gives up easily, and this was the mindset that I had been stuck in! A growth mindset embraces challenge, and looks for the lessons within difficult situations, choosing to persevere, and focus on and enjoy the journey along the way. This was my new chosen mindset, and the one that meant that the shoot was a completely fab experience that we all really enjoyed. 

I had arranged the shoot to take place with my friends Hannah McGuire on styling, Charlotte Condliffe make up, Jade Watson for hair, and Charlotte Swann for the photographs, and had booked the studio for Saturday. I made sure that I fitted in my morning run so that I felt energised and alive, and then started to get everything sorted ready for the shoot - this meant driving to the gym first with wet hair in a towel turban, grabbing an exercise ball, and wedging it into the passenger seat of my car, and then heading to Jades house to get my hair set into rollers, followed by pick ups, packing, and a team Starbucks run - all with rollers in my hair and wearing prescription raybans because I had left my glasses at home! What a sight! 

We arrived at the studio and unpacked all of the clothes and Charlotte got to work on my make up - this being the first time I had had professional make up done before. Charlotte is fab and has worked for brands such as The Times newspaper, Fred Perry, and The Daily Mail, and being my friend I trusted her completely. The same goes for Jade and Hannah with my hair and styling - it was so good to be around friends and feel like a girl! 

I had decided to show up, work it, love it, and do my best. 

Sometimes showing up in life is the hardest part, and it isn't actually so bad when you get there.

Charlotte was amazing with the camera and has shot for huge sportswear brands in the past, as well as shooting over 50 weddings, as well as studio work - so she knows what she is doing. It really helped that she was bossing me about - though she swears that she wasn't half as bossy as normal on a shoot! 

We shot nine different looks, and had such a laugh doing it.  Imagine if I had have showed up nervous, with that fixed mindset, how different the process would have been. I grabbed the girls for a team photo at the end of the shoot, and then we headed out to lunch. 

We got the shots and the pictures are looking fab! I can't wait to see them up on the site when it goes live in a few weeks time. In the meantime, keep an eye on the optimallyou instagram, twitter, and Facebook pages, and look out for the new Flourish vlog out tomorrow on our youtube channel. 

Thank you to the girls for supporting my vision, and for showing up to make it happen. Love you all.


With Gratitude, 


Niyc xx



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Charlotte Swann Photography on Instagram @charlotteswannphotography
Hannah McGuire styling on Instagram @hmpersonalstyling
Charlotte Condliffe Make up on Facebook "CJC Make up Artist" and Instagram @charlottecond
Jade Watson Hair on Instagram @jadeywig